an unsentletter to Nobu, part two of infinity
Can you read my mind from miles away?
Can you sense me withdrawing, and say to yourself, no, that can’t happen.
Because if you can’t, you’ve perfected the art of coincidence.
Each time, each time it’s felt like I could pull back, like I could step away from you,
you step forward.
Why?
I don’t like that my heart still flutters when you message me first.
Were you seeking out my company, or anyone’s company?
Why can’t I tell the difference?
Why don’t you want to lose me? What is there for you to gain?
If I’m giving you something you want, something you need, then I don’t want to take it away just because it’s hard for me.
It’ll be hard for me, either way.
I don’t want to attach meaning to things that have none, or little.
But I can’t just let things pass me by.
I overanalyze. You know what I’m like.
I want to stop being confused for just a little while longer than I’ve managed so far.
In those moments I feel like I could walk away with my sanity intact, I feel free.
But then you speak to me, and I just want to hold on again.
